I was reading a novel that my classmate had accidentally sent me via e-mail. Oi, hindi naman sa namimirata ako ng gawa. I just needed a break from the grueling task of finishing my own novel na hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin alam kung paano ko tatapusin.

Anyway, her story revolves around the fictional (well, i don’t know how fictional) love life of her barkada. That writer was my former classmate in college. You see, block section kami nung college so from 1st-4th year ay mukha ng bawat isa ang nakikita namin. Halos makabisado na namin ang kalikaw ng utak ng isa’t isa.

She was the one who convinced me to get into the novel writing thingy. She is one of the prolific writers of PHR. Yes, para sa mga fans, she is no other than THE Sonia Francesca. O ayan, Cherie! Sobrang build up na yan! (in case you’re reading this!)

So her story kinda evolve around the stories of her friends and she even used their real names. Nakakatawa kasi nakaka-relate ako sa story kasi naman kilala ko ang barkada niya. Ganun pala iyon kapag kilala mo ang characters na pinagbasehan ng binabasa mo. Hehe!

I just couldn’t help but feel a twinged of envy everytime Sonia and I would see each other. She would often update me with news about her friends and their recent gimmicks together. Since college barkada na silang lahat. After three years in trying to build their own careers, bow ako kasi hanggang ngayon, sanggang-dikit pa rin silang lahat.

Namimi-miss ko tuloy mga friends ko. Tulad nila, sanggang-dikit din kami ng mga iyon nung college. We shared a lot things, had gone through a lot of adventures and misadventures. I just missed the old days because I don’t see them often na. Aside from my bestest friend in the world na si kagandahang Grace, wala na akong nakikita ni anino man lang nila.

Last Friday when I went over to ABS, I bumped into Eden sa Starbucks. Alangan naman akong ayain siya to go out kasi may kausap siya. When Grace arrived and invited her, she declined the offer. I was sad. Grace told me not to be. Sabi niya intindihin ko na lang that time really comes when we all choose to go on our own paths.

It’s just sad that upon travelling on our own, sometimes we took people forgranted. I know I should be mature enough to understand things. Pero kasi I am the type of the person that once I get attached, its difficult for me to let go. Lalo na kapag friends. Nakakapag-let go lang ako kapag nakagawa na ng major kasalanan sa akin ang friend. That is the time I became totally unattached. As in keber kung anong mangyari sa iyo.

At hindi na mababalik ang attachment. At iyon ang ayaw kong mangyari. Ayokong maging major issue ang mga times when I feel rejected by them. I don’t want the times when I feel I’ve been fooled or lied to become a major issue that would then push me to let go. Dahil kapag nag-let go ako, it would be the end of something beautiful.

I often ask myself kung galit ba ako...of course I am not. Anger is a deep feeling. Maybe I just feel irritated. I value them so much. I long to see them. I am glad to help them. I enjoy their company and I enjoy every moment we spend with each other. I just wish they feel the same way. I hope they do.